Rachel (tie_me_up_now) wrote,

just what i needed

a nice hot shower is exactly what i needed. it did me sooo right. too bad i was alone.
i dont let what people say about me get to me, or bother me. unless it comes from someone i really care a lot about. it doesnt hurt me, but it does make me think about things. if someone thinks that he would never actually love me back, is there something i am missing? is there some reasoning that they think this besides the fact that they are probably jealous of me. i dont think im hot shit, but i know jealousy when i see it. i have dealt with it too many times with ex boyfriends. i dont understand jealousy one bit. i have never been that type of person. and i never will be.
the reasons i like you (as per request): you pulled a knife on someone you thought fucked with me, you said that if you ever found out who did those horrible things to me those few months ago that you would slit their throat from ear to ear, you make me smile, i feel comfortable with you, i feel safe in your arms, you can understand where ive been and where i want to go, the way i feel when you kiss me, the feeling i get in the pit of my stomach when i see you, i dont ever want to leave your side when im around you....i think i can go on forever here, but these are just a few of the reasons why i feel the way i do. there arent many people i would do so much for. not very many people who i would just hold while they were detoxing. wipe away there tears and try to take away their tremors. i would have taken your place if it was at all possible, just to take away your pain. just lay for hours with running my fingers through their hair letting them know how much i care. even if it is in those subtle ways. there arent very many people that have ever entered my life that i would rather not leave the house, because i dont want to leave their side.
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